Chuck Norris turns 69 today ... He can still kick some butt!

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:42 pm

In honor of the man turning 69 today, I thought I would post his personal favorite facts, as he said on Larry King Live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Anymore? These are great.

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:58 pm

Here you go.

100 Chuck Norris jokes
http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:20 am

wow...chuck norris jokes are old enough to vote

Mikey Wax · Post by **Mikey Wax** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:45 am

DrumAndDestroy wrote:wow...chuck norris jokes are old enough to vote

Last time I heard a Chuck Norris joke I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:42 am

Mikey Wax wrote:
DrumAndDestroy wrote:wow...chuck norris jokes are old enough to vote
Last time I heard a Chuck Norris joke I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.

Lat time I heard that one I laughed so hard that I fell off my dinasour and crackd my diaper

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:08 pm

GREAT!! Now Chuck Norris is coming to kick all your ass'es!! Watch your backs...LOL!!