How to tick people off ...

[f.sciarrillo]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

[songsmith]

Awesome! Whoever wrote that has that twisted sense of humor I love.--->JMS

[witchhunt]

4 and 30

[lonewolf]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you really want to tick them off, tell them its "FOR HERE."

[Bag]

4 and 30

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

I lmao @ that too.

[DirtySanchez]

My assistant and I used to do a lot of these in the office, just to amuse ourselves. Some people would get pissed. Others would completely lose it laughing. It's good to be the boss.

20,21, and 22 though.

[slackin@dabass]

haha, 26

[nickisrb]

24 and 27, haha.

[Colton]

33. Bump your post the same day you made it.
34. Let a politics thread go on without attempting to hijack it.
35. Tune your guitar between songs without having it muted.
36. Play 'Crazy Bitch'
37. Do the NASCAR type tire warm-up weaving while riding somone's ass on the road.
38. Drive under the speed limit. Use turnsignals randomly, without turning.
39. Push every fucking button that elevator has.
40. Pick a random person at the bar. Laugh every time you make eye contact, then roll your eyes.
41. Send text forwards with fat naked women or guys.
42. Everytime you see someone who played guitar, tell him how good of a guitarist you are. Best times to do this are when he just got off stage, maybe while he was sitting in with another band, who already has a guitarist whos fucking phenominal and the guitarist youre talking to already feels like he barely knows a note from a notepad.

[EyesOfAnguishbassist]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you really want to tick them off, tell them its "FOR HERE."

hahahaha

[Naga]

14 and 41 are day-to-day things for my job and coworkers. Heh

[Colton]

14 and 41 are day-to-day things for my job and coworkers. Heh

The big thing at my work its fitting 'thats what she said' into anything you can.


Its been going on for at least a year. Some of us are pro =)

[YankeeRose]

43. When YOU have placed a phone call, once any conversation has ended before hanging up, say: "Thank you for calling!"

(I doubt it ticks anyone off, but it sure confounds the heck out of them for at least a few seconds.)