Pro Tip #43

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:51 pm

songsmith wrote:I tried dating myself, too. Turns out I was only after sex. I kept trying to feel myself up during the movie. I slapped my own hand, yelled, "F**k off, pervert," and stormed out of the theater. I haven't heard from me since. --->JMS

hahahahahahahaha

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:53 pm

I found 10 plants in the middle of the little juniata when I was flyfishing in Ironsville a few years ago. I don't remember how the fishing was.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:59 pm

I played a Harvest Party once about 25 years ago... I naively thought they meant the bountiful corn harvest or something. What clued me in was the dude cleared out his kitchen cabinets and filled them with pot. There was a line of folks extending out the door to purchase. I went around the side of the barn to take a leak, and found myself surrounded by 6-8 foot tall plants. Biggest operation I ever saw. I wish I had time to type what happened that night... memorable, to say the least.
The guy never got busted, either.--->JMS

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:00 pm

songsmith wrote: The guy never got busted, either.--->JMS

I love happy endings.

slackin@dabass · Post by **slackin@dabass** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 7:29 pm

DirtySanchez wrote:
songsmith wrote: The guy never got busted, either.--->JMS
I love happy endings.

me too... especially the ones at the massage parlor...

T@rgetDrone · Post by **T@rgetDrone** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:11 am

songsmith wrote:I played a Harvest Party once about 25 years ago... I naively thought they meant the bountiful corn harvest or something. What clued me in was the dude cleared out his kitchen cabinets and filled them with pot. There was a line of folks extending out the door to purchase. I went around the side of the barn to take a leak, and found myself surrounded by 6-8 foot tall plants. Biggest operation I ever saw. I wish I had time to type what happened that night... memorable, to say the least.
The guy never got busted, either.--->JMS

EPIC! -------^

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:02 pm

At that same outdoor show, they were burning green leaves (no, not weed, just green brush, to drive the bugs away) and our stage lights lit up the column of smoke. The neighbors thought the barn was on fire and called the fire dept! It just so happened the band had just gone on break at that point... I looked down the dirt road, and there were dozens of red lights and sirens blazing... I thought it was cops! I jumped on an open mic to warn everyone, and a hundred people literally vanished in 15 seconds. It was like cockroaches when the kitchen light comes on! They didn't come back, either, we played the final set to about 5 people.
Guess how the guy paid us?

--->JMS

witchhunt · Post by **witchhunt** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:10 pm

songsmith wrote:Guess how the guy paid us? --->JMS

Uh...with all the purses and wallets the 100 people left behind?

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:24 pm

I've never seen anything like it. I could not have cleared the area faster if I said Ann Coulter would be pole-dancing for us. We went from a bustling, loud party-crowd to crickets chirping in no time at all. There were maybe 30 abandoned vehicles, too... I'm not sure how people thought they'd leave their cars behind and get away with it. I also wonder how many bags got abandoned in the woods that night. Little by little, they sneaked back to their cars and quietly left without saying goodbye. It was surreal.
It got better, too. I wound up in a strip poker game consisting of myself and two 19-yr-old girls. I won.

It was good to be a dorky singer in a local metal band.

That was one of those legendary nights that are the reason I wholly encourage people to join, start, or infiltrate a rock and roll band. I can assure you, I would never have seen or done most of the coolest things in my life had I not pretended to be a rock star.--->JMS