Punk Fiction is proud to present a rough mix of our first original song. Its called illusioned. Still needs a few tracks layered over. But id like to get opinions on what we have at the moment.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri= ... cAlrXi4t7M
So check it out if ya dont mind! Any feedback will be appreciated.
Thanks!
-kayla
Our first original
Our first original
`( f e n d e r)`
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onegunguitar
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dakotarose
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onegunguitar
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Great job, I like the lyrics, and the mood. I'd offer some minor advice, but hope you don't take it as a criticism, it's YOUR song.
First, I really miss a bass track on this one. I hear a simple whole-note bass line on the whole song. It might actually be there, but I couldn't hear it in my headphones. Next, there's a slight slowing-down of tempo after the first stop. It's very slight, but I caught it, and I'm bad about that stuff even after all these years. Finally, the cajon was an excellent choice for percussion on this song (I gotta get one of those, really!), but there's an overtone on what would normally be the kick-drum part... when you're on the root chord, it fits right in, but when you play any other chord, it sounds a little out of tune. It's no big deal, I think it just needs deadened out a little, so it doesn't ring as long... like a pillow in a kick-drum.
Again, it's probably fine the way it is, you guys always have the final say. The songwriting, vocals and instrumental parts are great. I'll be waiting for the next song. I'd love to hear yinz kick one in the ass, and rock a fast song!
First, I really miss a bass track on this one. I hear a simple whole-note bass line on the whole song. It might actually be there, but I couldn't hear it in my headphones. Next, there's a slight slowing-down of tempo after the first stop. It's very slight, but I caught it, and I'm bad about that stuff even after all these years. Finally, the cajon was an excellent choice for percussion on this song (I gotta get one of those, really!), but there's an overtone on what would normally be the kick-drum part... when you're on the root chord, it fits right in, but when you play any other chord, it sounds a little out of tune. It's no big deal, I think it just needs deadened out a little, so it doesn't ring as long... like a pillow in a kick-drum.
Again, it's probably fine the way it is, you guys always have the final say. The songwriting, vocals and instrumental parts are great. I'll be waiting for the next song. I'd love to hear yinz kick one in the ass, and rock a fast song!
Thanks for the advice johnny. Its really appreciated. That was our rough draft. That was done in four tracks, no second takes. We still need to add the bass and theres a spot for some lead work. Which we will finish tomorrow. We just got a little excited and wanted to get some advice.
Id like to do some heavier/faster stuff but it doesnt seem to fit our style at the moment.
Thanks again johnny! Your reply is what im lookin for. Good honest constructive criticism and advice.
-kayla
Id like to do some heavier/faster stuff but it doesnt seem to fit our style at the moment.
Thanks again johnny! Your reply is what im lookin for. Good honest constructive criticism and advice.
-kayla
`( f e n d e r)`
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MistValkyrie
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