[bassist_25]

Hey everyone,

We occasionally get the troll here, and I always admit that it's a good time watching some know-it-all get their ass handed to them. So who was your favorite RP troll? Just to refresh your memory....

Aja was the martyred singer who despite her educational pedigree (she was a student at Berkely, and she made that known multiple times) believed that misogyny was holding her back from pursuing a career in music. She was quite offended when John offered to let her set-in on his acoustic act instead of a "full blown metal show with distorted guitars". She even accused some of the female posters of being subservient to men. She officially had her ass handed to her when Dwert posted a thread parodying her original whine.

Metal-Rules was a failed songwriter who spent countless hours deconstructing and rewriting successful hit songs. He even went as far as to rewrite a local band's song. Metal-Rules had the uncanny knack of not seeing the forest through the trees (as he did by dismissing the Fibonacci Sequence in Tool's Lateralus, and instead bitched about how the structure of the lyrics went against the nonconformist message of the words, whatever the hell he meant by that) and often loved to nitpick about "time-frame problems" in songs. He runs a message board where he feeds his ego by ripping apart lyrics submitted by very bad amatuer songwriters.

The Reason was a guy pissed off about the fact that many cover bands were having success while his garage band from Philipsburg went nowhere. He tried to come off as an intellectual, but unfortunatley his philosophical ponderings had so many holes in them they made the Cosmological Argument sound fool-proof. He would often change his user name in an attempt to be witty, but after reading the first five words of his hackeyed psuedo-Sartre posts it was easy to figure out who it was.

BTW, I voted for Metal-Rules.
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"He's the electric horseman, you better back off!" - old sKool making a reference to the culturally relevant 1979 film.

[ToonaRockGuy]

The Reason, since it got personal.
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Dood...

[Punkinhead]

Metal Rules, since everything he said was in his mind justified by his Berklee education. And because he would say one thing then when you rebuttled it, would recant and say he never said it. Also because some of the fights with him were a little more intelligent. I wasn't around for the Reason but Aja just kept yelling that we were all wife beating women suppressing lunatics.
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If youth knew; if age could.

[ToonaRockGuy]

We aren't???
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Dood...

[tonefight]

Gotta vote for AJA, that was a hilarious thing going on there, it was better than any TV show could ever be
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Don't bitch to me about the economy while you're still buying Chinese products.

[esa]

Aja...because I was a dumb quiff for allowing the "men" here to talk to me in such ways...
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~*~Esa~*~
I'll be the one left standing behind you, looking the other way as you glance back at what you've lost.

[Jim Price]

I voted MetalRules, because I witnessed this clown in action on another local music message board and saw him get his ass handed to him there. I saw this troll coming when he first registered and posted an ad for his songwriting board a month or two before "MetalRules" showed up. And I've checked in on his songwriting board website since his episodes here, and people are even attacking and questioning his integrity on his own board; it's hilarious reading!
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http://pamusician.net

[byndrsn]

[Jim Price]

Here it is; under "General Chat," a few intelligent posters are making a total fool out of him. There might be some pop-up windows with this (I know that was a problem before for some folks):

http://www.geocities.com/grimessongwritingboard/
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http://pamusician.net

[bassist_25]

Oh God, this thread is freakin' halirious.

These guys are great. I picture two losers who have never played a gig in their lives, sitting around critiquing music because they haven't the talent to write or perform their own.

http://www.aimoo.com/forum/postview.cfm?id=519935&CategoryID=233433&startcat=1&ThreadID=2037663
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"He's the electric horseman, you better back off!" - old sKool making a reference to the culturally relevant 1979 film.

[Ron]

OMFUG. This has to be the quote of the year:

"All I ask is that you be a MOZART and be as flawless as you can."

Bwahahahahahahh!
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... and then the wheel fell off.

[songsmith]

Has anyone noticed a common thread among these dillholes? Each was convinced they were somehow beyond us. Like a bad American Idol episode (and I positively hate referring to that show), they had taken the adulation of their moms and girlfriends to mean they were playing at a much higher level than was the reality.

This is why, people, this is why you PAY THEM #@*&!-king DUES! So you know the difference between your ego and what your audience sees, so you can get over yourself and create music as art instead of self-flattering masturbation.

Aja knew she was awesome, she had a piece of paper that said so. It HAD to be that sweaty hairy men were creating a glass ceiling, despite the obvious point that the Billboard charts were predominately female at the time, and local music positively clamors for female muso's.
MetalRules knew he was in possession of THE formula for popular songwriting, despite never actually having a song be successful. I'm rather familiar with songcraft, and I consider a good "keeper" song as an incredible blessing of good fortune, a gift from the ether. MetalRules indeed had the secret to a formulaic song... and nobody really likes those.
The Reason... man, I loved that kid. I WAS him once, except I didn't physically threaten anyone at that age. He was awesome because his Mommy said he was. The neighborhood kids said he was. He's a rebel, Katie, a fighter. I pointed out to him my timetable for success at his age: record deal next year, headlining tour in two years. Yeah, that's realistic. As far as I know, a couple years down the pike, and he's no longer playing in bands...NOOOO!!! YOU"RE KIDDING ME!

We're a pretty tight-knit group here, I know of no other group online who functions as a collective group quite the same way we do. We bust chops, alright, (again, I apologize, G-Willikers, I truly do not believe you are a troll, but Woofy, I believe you are) but we also come together to support our own in a way not often seen. Our members support other acts and venues, collaborate musically and socially, and we are a valuable contribution to our community-at-large, despite the fact that few outside our group truly know or care about that.

Three or four trolls in three or four years... not a bad average, my friends.--------->JMS

[bassist_25]

Awesome and well thought-out post as always, John. But there's especially one thing I want to highlight.

[YankeeRose]

Right on, Joe. I'd Vote for which ever Troll was here the least amount of time.
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Jesus Is a Hippie.

PEACE,
Donna

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