Gaining Confidence ...

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:00 am

Alright, so i have a major confidence issue when i get out and start playin with good musicians. often feel inferior and then i get all nervous and forget everything haha. i know im goin to gain more confidence with the more experience i get. i can sit in my room and be like damn that was nice, then i get on stage with seasoned musicians and i just get nervous and forget what frets im on.

confidence is a major obstacle for me, i need some help with gettin over this hurdle. I wanna get out and jam with bands and show what i can do, but then i try and i get all nervous and screw up. and it makes me angry cause i know i can do it.

any advice out there????

thanks

- kayla.

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:09 am

Don't be afraid to make a mistake. Everyone, even the best of the best, makes mistakes. If you make a mistake in a live performance, so what ? It's gone forever. If you make a mistake in a studio, you get a "do over".

In other words, if you relax and just let it flow, without fear, you will improve tremendously.

A friend of mine saw Steve Gadd (drummer extraordinaire) at a clinic. Someone ask him if he ever makes mistakes. He said, " What do you mean, I've been making mistakes all night

".

Remove any fear and cut loose ! I know you can do it.

Flaw · Post by **Flaw** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:15 am

i can help with your confidence problem. i've played guitar for 11 years, well have a guitar battle and after you win you will realize that you have what it takes lol

ToonaRockGuy · Post by **ToonaRockGuy** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:18 pm

Kayla,

Here's something to think about regarding confidence.

It ain't a contest. Subconciously, you may be considering it like that.

i can sit in my room and be like damn that was nice, then i get on stage with seasoned musicians and i just get nervous and forget what frets im on.

It's all about making music and having fun. That's the only thing you need to worry about. Have fun, open up your spirit, and get lost in what you're doing. It doesn't matter if you're onstage playing with Eric Clapton or my 7 year old daughter, it's about getting to that "moment". The moment when everything clicks and is perfect. When your fingers are on fire, the crowd is completely mesmerized by what's happening onstage, and the band is firing on all cylinders. And the real fun part?

It doesn't happen very often. But when it does, that's when you truly know why you are a musician.

Relax. Realize that you can learn something from anyone that you are playing with. Have fun with it, and remember that you don't have to impress anyone. As long as you are happy playing, then just do it. And if all else fails, remember my signature below, courtesy of Colton.

VENTGtr · Post by **VENTGtr** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:30 pm

Only advice can be to get, and learn from, the experience.

Some points:

Don't expect the wrong things. Things will always sound different from your
room to a stage. You learn to expect the difference and how to alter what
you hear/do for each. Soon, won't even enter your mind.

Make yourself face the audience. Gets to be second nature pretty quick.

DON'T BE LAME! You look worse just standing there being boring than by
showing some enjoyment in doing what you're doing.

Don't let the mistakes linger in your head. This leads to more of them.

Mentally overcome issues. Not always easy, you won't always be successful,
but work towards it.

4_the_pocket · Post by **4_the_pocket** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:37 pm

If only we could all buy, borrow or steal confidence, but we cant.

- Keep jamming with people who are "better/seasoned" when you can.
- Practice.
- Keep a positive attitude and keep at it.
- Practice.
- Dont bite off more than you can chew. If you are out to "show what you can do" you may be putting pressure on yourself to do more than you can actually do. Do what you know and do it well. Musicians like playing with people they can count on and a live jam situation on stage is not the time to whip out the latest riff or lead you are just learning. Play it safe, play it right and youll get asked to jam again.
- Practice.

Also, remember that even some of the seasoned players have confidence issues too....they are just better at concealing it.

Relax and have fun. Practice

THEM BONES · Post by **THEM BONES** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:00 pm

Here's my advice: Before playing live get shit-faced drunk and super stoned and you'll do just fine; or at least you won't care what anyone thinks.

Just kidding!

Confidence will come with time. Keep learning as much about your instrument as you possibly can, jam with as many people as possible, and don't be afraid to take advice and even constructive critisizm. Always remember music is supposed to be FUN.

Post by **Ron** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:40 pm

Pretend that everyone in the audience is in their underwear.

Tegamal · Post by **Tegamal** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:40 pm

That's always been an obstacle for me. I've been playing for a while, but I'm still not what I would consider a "great" guitarist. I'm good, I get by, & I can pick up things quickly. I'm no shredder, that's for sure.

I'd love to branch out & try new things, but that has always hindered me. If someone were looking for a rhythm guitarist (few if any leads), I'd be your man, haha

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:47 pm

bottom line-have fun. everyone was a newbie on stage at one point or another.

and always remember...anyone who goes out and seriously critiques another musician's playing during their set is a douche anyway. so don't worry about what anyone thinks about you.

mjb · Post by **mjb** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:08 pm

what everyone else said + do take yourself so seriously.

i think what steve said was great about when your up there and your performing, the way to keep your confidence is to simply play what you know and what your comfortable with. then slowly but surely your start trying to step it up.

i took what i was doing way to serious and it held me back, as i look back on it now. i applaud you just getting up there, that in itself is an accomplishment in my book.

nothhing like hittin that klunker every now and then to keep ya humble though.

we'll talk sunday.

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:18 pm

thanks everyone for the advice, it doesnt fall on deaf ears. its greatly appreciated.

i feel like ive come a far way since last year, but like every guitar player, im not satisfied with where im at skill wise. everyone seems so much better than me and it frustrates me

in a few years though, im hopin i look back and say what was i so worried about.

thanks again everyone! look forward to talkin to ya sunday mike!

- kayla.

joltinjeff · Post by **joltinjeff** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:58 pm

Ron wrote:Pretend that everyone in the audience is in their underwear.

While that is good advice, there are probably some people in the audience (ie MEN) I would not want to see in their underwear. Although thinking of what some of the women are wearing or not wearing under their clothes is a great thing to think about while on stage

Plastered Bastards · Post by **Plastered Bastards** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:12 pm

Just walk up there and do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck everyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

timemoney0 · Post by **timemoney0** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:11 pm

joltinjeff Posted: Tuesday Nov 03, 2009 Post subject: Gaining confidence

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ron wrote:
Pretend that everyone in the audience is in their underwear.

While that is good advice, there are probably some people in the audience (ie MEN) I would not want to see in their underwear. Although thinking of what some of the women are wearing or not wearing under their clothes is a great thing to think about while on stage

That's what I used to do 'til I jammed with Hawk....EWWWW...now that don't work any more

PStl · Post by **PStl** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:19 pm

Continue to critique your playing, but don't beat yourself up.
Technique issues will resolve themselves with good practice.
Consider each time you really nail a part, a small victory!
As for jamming, I agree with the others, stay within yourself.

Post by **Ron** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:09 am

timemoney0 wrote:
joltinjeff Posted: Tuesday Nov 03, 2009 Post subject: Gaining confidence

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ron wrote:
Pretend that everyone in the audience is in their underwear.

While that is good advice, there are probably some people in the audience (ie MEN) I would not want to see in their underwear. Although thinking of what some of the women are wearing or not wearing under their clothes is a great thing to think about while on stage

That's what I used to do 'til I jammed with Hawk....EWWWW...now that don't work any more

You are supposed to pretend the audience is in their underwear, not the other band members... that's just sick.

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:11 am

Ron wrote:Pretend that everyone in the audience is in their underwear.

So that's why you alwsys have that grin on your face.

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:46 am

well i took some advice from ya all, and i realized im tryin to learn things that are beyond my ability at this point. so i kicked those songs to the curb and decided on some easier blues songs and got two down tonight. Mary Had a Little Lamb and Born Under a Bad Sign. So thats a good start.

thanks again everyone!!

- kayla.

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:56 am

felix'apprentice wrote:well i took some advice from ya all, and i realized im tryin to learn things that are beyond my ability at this point. so i kicked those songs to the curb and decided on some easier blues songs and got two down tonight. Mary Had a Little Lamb and Born Under a Bad Sign. So thats a good start.

thanks again everyone!!

- kayla.

]

That's so cool Kayla. The next time we do a Sunday Bules Jam we'll do those two songs.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:26 am

While I can't give Kayla the same advice I once gave MJB (inside joke), I can say that I've never met anyone who was more shy than me as a kid. I was petrified at my first show, but I simply stared it right in the face because I wanted to do it so bad. When it was done, I felt like Superman, and I've learned to use the jimmies to my advantage. That nervous anticipation releases adrenalin and endorphins, and you feel ALIVE.
When you play with other musicians, remember, they WANT you to do well, and they're sympathetic if you hit a clam, because we all do that. If somebody giggles, it's not because you suck, it's because it's funny! Get a breath, and keep playing, everyone will forget it in literally a few seconds, because when you listen to/play music, you live in the now. Your brain doesn't let you think too far ahead in the song, or retain what you just did, because you're busy playing the song right now.
Know your parts, and feel the song in your heart, and you'll have fun no matter what.
Musicians have something onstage I always called The Look. No matter how much they want to, people who aren't onstage will never really understand The Look. You look over at a bandmate, and they look you right in the eye, and it's like there's a whole conversation, just from the expression on their face. It says, "Awesome solo!," or "We sound great!" or "They love us!" It's a nonverbal pat on the back from your peers. To get The Look from someone you consider to be really good, to have them treat you as a peer? That's worth all the nerves.--->JMS