What's the stupidest thing you've said or done to a women?

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:08 pm

I've chased a girl around the house with a little ninja sword not knowing that her mother was murdered by her father with a big ass knife. I thought she was laughing, she was in fact crying. She was the hot new girl in school, so I didn't know about her mother.

This milf who was stalking me in this bar asked, "So how am I doing so far?" I said, "It's 51% in your favor right now." (The alchohol made me say it) and she got up and left.

My friend dared me to slap the ass of this girl I was dancing with, she was a Jehovas witness. I did and was slapped in the face and was left alone for the rest of the night.

I was at a club one time off my face and I "accidently" walked into the girls restroom. They all stared and laughed. And I said, "You people are either really good looking guys or really ugly girls." and ran out.

I've also greeted 2 girls I hardly knew by saying "What's up bitches."

Erotic Funeral Parlor · Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:58 pm

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Killjingle · Post by **Killjingle** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:08 am

I trust you.

Prrthd81702 · Post by **Prrthd81702** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 2:46 am

I was doing it on my waterbed once and had an empty 1/8th of Jack Daniels, filled with dimes come crashing down on my girlfriends head. I wanted to keep going, but for some reason, she didn't. Two words:

BLUE BALLS!!!

Bag · Post by **Bag** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:17 am

I do.

Imgrimm01 · Post by **Imgrimm01** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:38 pm

Once I said ... " damn I didn't mean to kill you you just wouldn't listen" Oh wait that was not a woman that was a hitch hiker I picked up in Kansas back in 84 , I get so confused so many drifters so many murders...

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:23 pm

Bag wrote:I do.

That was the worst thing I ever said as well. lucky for me after a few years the curse was over with that girl

J Michaels · Post by **J Michaels** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:08 pm

Hey - do you wanna get a pizza and go screw?

"No."

What's the matter - don't you like pizza?

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:21 pm

"It's okay... I hear it tastes like ocean water. That's not so bad is it?"

"Hey, I have haven't seen you forever. You look like you put a little weight on." (Hard lesson learned here. Again, I actually like a little chubbiness, it's very girly. Apparently she didn't.)

"Sure, we can park here and do it. Nobody ever drives up here."

"Wow, you're really a good singer." (She was pornstar hot. You'd have said it, too.)

"Really, they're fake? They look so natural." (Yeah, like the way toupee's look natural.)

Sometimes, I'm not a particularly bright individual, and say things that aren't nice. I have to learn things the hard way!

---->JMS

esa · Post by **esa** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:50 pm

I'm sorry I ever thought you were fking around with my boyfriend. Can you forgive me for being stupid enough not to trust him more and accuse you? I should have never doubted your friendship...

orangekick · Post by **orangekick** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:57 pm

I would have to say...

"Hey, I'm in a band and I play bass."

*girl quickly finds an exit*

Mackovyak · Post by **Mackovyak** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:00 pm

Ok here's one....After drinking all night in J-town, we stop at the Sheetz in Sidman to get gas....

My friend noticed a not so good looking woman with a Kiel's Hotel (Portage) shirt on and started a striking conversation with her.

After talking with her for about 5 minutes, he said to her. "So, you
aren't married are you?"

She replied, "I'm impressed, could you tell by the fact that I wasn't
wearing a ring?"

He replied, "no, because you're f#cking ugly!"

byndrsn · Post by **byndrsn** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:00 pm

J Michaels wrote:Hey - do you wanna get a pizza and go screw?

"No."

What's the matter - don't you like pizza?

I'm gonna remember that one!!!!!!

ERiC_AiXeLsyD · Post by **ERiC_AiXeLsyD** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm

orangekick wrote:I would have to say...

"Hey, I'm in a band and I play bass."

*girl quickly finds an exit*

I heard a rumor that chick dig bass players...

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:05 pm

I'd have to say at spring break, I saw this hot girl in an elevator. I said to her "let's stop this elevator, and get it on". She told her boyfriend, who was going to college on a boxing scholarship, so he said. Luckly the pint of Gold shlogger I drank made me numb. The funny thing is I don't remember it happening. My buddies I was with told me about it the next day, when I came to. I passed out and the boyfriend thought it would be fitting to take action at that point lol ..

DMFJ03 · Post by **DMFJ03** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:05 pm

It will only hurt for a second...

Quail Whale · Post by **Quail Whale** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:12 pm

Are you a lesbian? Really, that surprises me because you look like one.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:21 am

Lastnight, a girl told me she sold her soul for a mcnugget once, so I replied with, "It looks as though you sold it for more than one." After I said that, she stormed off into a dressing room for about 5-10 minutes.

I hope she cried profusely. Perhaps she's still trying to pick up the pieces of her shattered dignity and self-image. If so, I'll be certain to grind up the remnants next time I see her.

Bert|Evil · Post by **Bert|Evil** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:42 am

"I've got a lot in common with a horse, you know? Yeah, I can walk and poop at the same time!"

"Baby, I'd drink a gallon of your piss just to see where it came from!"

redawg · Post by **redawg** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 7:59 am

I've actually had one or two of my friends say "I'd suck her dad off just to see where she came from". I swear I never said that. What a way to pay a compliment to how hot a chick is.

ZappasXWife · Post by **ZappasXWife** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 2:54 pm

"Hey, I'm in a band and I play bass."

I don't know why you think thats a dumb thing to say, maybe it was something else (no offense) because we think bass players are hot. I'd say a good idea to avoid saying the wrong thing is to be absolutely sure a girl is pregnant before you start making small talk about the impending event.

Mistress_DB · Post by **Mistress_DB** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 3:44 pm

I had a guy approach me at the bar at City Limits one night with.. " Do you know what a bear with a sore ass looks like?" when I replied no he said " Well turn around and look in the mirror" Then he wondered why I really wasn't interested in talking with him.

Bert|Evil · Post by **Bert|Evil** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 3:54 pm

Mistress_DB wrote:I had a guy approach me at the bar at City Limits one night with.. " Do you know what a bear with a sore ass looks like?" when I replied no he said " Well turn around and look in the mirror" Then he wondered why I really wasn't interested in talking with him.

How about, "have you ever seen an elephant with one ear?" Basically, the guy pulls one pants pocket out and leaves the other in, implying to the woman that what is in the middle is as big as an elephant's trunk. Chicks dig it!!

I learned that one from my Dad, so I have to give him his props!

bigbizzle · Post by **bigbizzle** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:01 pm

I HAVE A FOUR AND A HALF INCH TONGUE AND I CAN BREATH THROUGH MY EARS.

BigJohn · Post by **BigJohn** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:14 pm

I was living with my first exwife (I also have a second exwife). While she was doing her hair one afternoon, she was topless, I picked up her curling iron and pretended it was a sword and then proceeded to touch her nipple with it. "OUCH" I never used a curling iron I had no idea they got that hot !!!

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What's the stupidest thing you've said or done to a women?

What's the stupidest thing you've said or done to a women?

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